If you haven’t heard of Maddie Cottam-Allan, you may have seen her wry personal comics in VICE or, more likely, her Birmingham Tap Water T-shirts around South Birmingham. The T-shirts, white tees with the words “Birmingham Tap Water” printed in black, may not seem anything special at first glance. However, over the last year, these shirts, as well as Maddie’s social media, have gone viral, birthing a meme and dubbing her the patron saint of Birmingham Tap Water. 

As a fellow Brummie cartoonist, I’ve always been interested in Maddie’s work, candid and humorous comics that play on her own neurosis, sex life, and dark sense of humour. However, it was Maddie’s latest venture into clothing that caught my attention and spurred me to find out more about this uber localised meme and her tap water obsession. As a lover of our city’s most famous delicacy, I wanted to know more about what makes it so special. 

At the time of our interview, both Maddie and I were outside of the homeland of Birmingham, she in Brighton and I in Glasgow.

Maddie: “On the record, I hear Glasgow tap water is great.”

Charlotte: “It is pretty good. Apparently, it’s some of the cleanest in the UK. But I think it’s because they don’t test it…so maybe not the most reliable. It must be so grim to live somewhere with bad tasting water.”

Maddie: “Yeah, that’s my life in Brighton, man. Although, I am actually drinking Birmingham tap water right now because my mate’s parents brought me some.” 

Charlotte: “Wait, really? You’ve had someone hand deliver you tap water?”

Maddie: “Yeah I refuse to drink Brighton tap water. I’m going to stock up on more Birmingham tap water next week.”

Those of you not lucky enough to be from Birmingham might be wondering right about now if you have accidentally clicked on an interview between two doomsday preppers in a bunker doing a Mukbang review of their hoarded cans of water and protein rations. While it might sound odd to be so excited about some council pop, this is no ordinary tap water. Crystal clear, crisp, cascading down from the heavenly Welsh mountains and funnelled straight to our homes. Birmingham tap water is a bit bloody delicious. Consistently ranked as some of the best water in the UK for taste and quality, I wanted to find out what makes it so special from the patron saint herself. 

Charlotte: “The question that is on everyone’s mind: What is so good about Birmingham tap water? What makes it great?”

Maddie: “You know, I was on BBC West Midlands the other day, and they asked me this. And the guy who interviewed me was quite scarily assertive, like, “You need to know what’s in that water!” So I, like, wrote down loads of shit, like, oh, it’s got minerals, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, what was the question? What’s so good about it? It tastes delicious. Full of minerals. It’s fucking good for your hair and skin. Also
fun fact: Birmingham homes don’t need to replace their kettles that much. Because there’s no fucking limescale!”


Charlotte: “That is a fun fact.” 

Maddie: “A dentist messaged me recently saying the kids in Birmingham have the best oral health, and they think it’s because there’s so much fluoride in Birmingham tap water.”

Charlotte: “Do you think our tap water really is the best in the UK? I feel like you must have to defend Birmingham’s title fairly often because of your t-shirts. So do you think it is justifiably the best?”

Maddie: “I’m not gonna die on that hill. I’ll get someone to pay for me to go everywhere, try all of their tap water, and then I’ll say definitively which one is the best. Maybe BBC West Midlands?” 

Charlotte: “Yeah, get the full facts to back it up.”

Maddie: “But the main thing with Birmingham tap water is we just have fucking nothing. Nothing is going for our city. Everyone hates it. We’re the butt of the joke.
Our water is all we have”

Charlotte: “Damn, I didn’t expect the interview to take that turn…”

I can’t help but agree with Maddie’s sentiment. Underfunded and struggling, Birmingham is largely ignored by the rest of the UK. To me, this is one of the main reasons for Maddie’s viral success. A niche joke aimed solely at Brummie’s adds an air of exclusivity but also plays into the self-awareness of Maddie’s work. In essence, we know we don’t have much, but we’re still proud of our city.

Charlotte: “So if BBC West Midlands decides to pay for your grand tour and you find somewhere with better tap water, would you stay on the sinking Birmingham ship or jump?”

Maddie: “I will go down with this ship.
And I will put up my hands up and surrender. No, I won’t. Whatever. Fuck it, I’m staying on that Birmingham ship!”

Charlotte: “How did this Birmingham Tap Water thing become a meme? Where did it begin?” 

Maddie: “I made a comic on Instagram, and it said, “You can say what you like about Birmingham, but our tap water is lit”. And it got the most likes out of anything I’ve ever done. From there, I was like, I just want a T-shirt that says Birmingham Tap Water on it, just for myself. So I got one printed, and everyone went mental. So I was like, ok ok I’ll sell them. That was last year, and it’s now starting to become a real business.”

One thing I was desperate to ask about was the comedian Joe Lycett. Lycett recently released his new series, The United States of Birmingham on Sky TV, in which he travels across the US, visiting every Birmingham, to form a Treaty of Friendship. As one of Birmingham’s greatest defenders, it was only natural that Lycett would like Maddie’s work, wearing a plethora of her designs on the show itself. From t-shirts to caps, he owns it ALL. 

Charlotte: “So how did Joe Lycett get involved in all of this, is he a friend of yours?”

Maddie: “Yes, how did he? Where did that man come from? I think he just saw people wearing them around Kings Heath and thought, yeah, I like that. Maybe he only owns two shirts, and that’s why he has to wear mine all the time. 

Charlotte: “I dont think thats true, there’s other Birmingham merch out there that he could be wearing, but he’s wearing your merch. So there must be something about it”

Maddie: “I’ve never asked him about why he likes it, but I have once been like, “Ah, like, dude, I really appreciate all of this.” And he’s like, “Yeah, no worries, brother…”

Charlotte: “Did you see he’s worn some of your stuff on his new show?”

Maddie: “Yeah I have. When he went to Alabama, he was wearing a tap water T-shirt and the Americans were like, “Oh, tap water’s really rad!” 

Charlotte: “Have you seen the whole thing?

Maddie: “No, I’ve not finished it yet, but my dad has. Should we Facetime my dad and see what he thinks about it? 

Charlotte: “Yes definitely. Has your dad ever met Joe Lycett?”

Maddie: “Yeah, he has. He went up to him in the street and was like, thank you for wearing my daughter’s T-shirt. Then he tried to get him to read his book.”

Maddie’s dad, Jeff,  is your typical middle-class Moseley dad, polite and friendly, and eager to be involved (a stereotype which inspired one of her latest designs, Middle Class Moseley Moms). If you have ever been to or lived in Moseley, you will certainly know the type.  

Maddie: “Hey, Dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m actually in a bit of an interview right now.

Jeff: “You’re doing what?”

Maddie: ‘I’m in the middle of an interview”

Dad: “Oh right ok. Is that a good time to Facetime with me?”

Maddie: “I just need to ask you something. Have you seen all of Joe Lycett’s United States to Birmingham?” 

Jeff: “Yes, he was wearing your Middle Class Moseley Mom’s t-shirts.”

Maddie: “Yeah, did he mention the water? The water in Alabama?”

Dad: “Oh yes he did” 

Maddie: “Actually, Dad, you are in the interview right now. Do you want to  promote your book?” 

Jeff: “Yes ok. My book is illustrated by Maddie Cottom-Allan, in colour, and it’s free. It is available at www.jeffvehicles.com. The book is all about electric cars, electric vans, and electric bikes, and in the latest edition, there are actually electric trucks as well. 

Charlotte: “Thank you, Maddie’s dad for joining us, that was great.”

Charlotte: “I wanted to talk to you about the charities you’re supporting with your Birmingham tap water caps.”

Maddie: “Yes, that was for Human Appeal. It’s split between that and the Gaza Emergency Fund because, like, we’ve got water, they haven’t.

Charlotte: “Yeah that seems like a nice match” 

Maddie: “But for the Moseley Middle Class Mom shirts, a lot of the money from that goes to Kings Heath Actions for Refugees. They are doing a lot of great stuff, and I’m sure some water-based things.

Charlotte: “Are there any other people you’ve been working with who you’d like to mention?”

Maddie: “Shout out to Brid from Do Make Say Ink, who makes the T-shirts. They do fabulous stuff.”

Charlotte: “My final question is a bit cheeky. I might have heard on the grapevine that you’re in talks with Big Tap Water. Are you allowed to speak on this or are you under an NDA?”

Maddie: “Let’s just say me and Big Tap Water are in communication. I can say no more on that.”

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